Molly Piper on Twins

The other day I thought to myself, Molly Piper has twins.  And Molly Piper has a blog.  I'll bet Molly Piper has blogged about twins.

Sure enough.  In fact, she has a Twin Survival Tips series.  Since there are a few others of you out there that could probably benefit from her advice too, I thought I'd share the link.  And it actually seems like the people who comment on her posts generally don't have twins but still find her advice helpful.  So for all you moms and soon-to-be moms out there, enjoy!

Caring for Orphans in Guatemala

Eight years ago, Todd and Amy Block followed the Lord's leading to add to their family of six by adopting a little girl from Guatemala.  And, as they say, their lives have never been the same.  Five adoptions later (yes, that makes 9 kids!), the Lord has changed the direction of their path.  Now they are going to the orphans. 

Guatemala is a country that is no longer open for inter-country adoption.  But there are still many, many orphans there!  As you can imagine, the Blocks care deeply about these precious little ones, and they have decided to sell everything and move their family to Guatemala to spend their lives teaching, sharing the gospel with, providing for and loving orphans.  Check out the video above for more details about their plans.    

Would you please consider partnering with this AMAZING family as they partner with the Lord in caring for the least of these?  They are so special to us because their youngest daughter Havyn was at the same orphanage as our kiddos, and in fact her crib was next to our son's!  Amy and her oldest daughter Addisyn were in Ethiopia at the same time we were to pick her up, and it's been our privilege and joy to keep in touch with them since.  There's hardly a more awesome family that we could recommend you consider supporting.

You can sign up to be a monthly supporter or make a one time gift online here.  All donations are tax deductible.  You can also mail gifts to:  

Commission To Every Nation
Todd and Amy Block
P.O. Box 291307
Kerrville, TX 78029-1307

I just know you'd enjoy following their story at buildingtheblocks.blogspot.com!

Honduras Blitz

What if every time you gave a dollar to orphans it became one more?  One more dollar towards food, education and shelter.  One more dollar toward sharing the gospel and providing Biblical mentoring.  One more dollar toward changing the life of a child.

Thanks to a generous donor every dollar given to Lifesong Honduras will be matched… up to $120,000!  Praise the Lord for this amazing gift!

Over the next 9 days Lifesong is hoping for 100 1-year commitments of $30 a month.  Just think, for about $1 a day a life in Honduras can be forever changed.

Partnering with Tree of Life Missions in Honduras, Lifesong for Orphans is able to work toward providing hope to the hopeless, help to the helpless and healing to the hurting.  TOLM reaches kids through a program called Plan Escalon.  (Escalon is translated "escalator" and is used to describe the children's escalator out of poverty/brokenness.) The program strives toward:

• Providing an education to the poorest of youth
• Providing food to the poorest of youth
• Providing vocational training & micro-business opportunities
• Providing free medical and dental clinics to those in need
• Training young people to give back to their communities
• Reaching people in the jungles of the Mosquito Coast 

One way you can help is by participating in Tortilla Tuesday, one week from today.  Enjoy a meal at work or with your family or friends of tortillas, rice, and beans.  This is a great way to not just talk about life for kids in Honduras, but to actually experience it, if only in one small way.  Here are a few facts and conversation starters:

1. Honduras is one of the poorest nations in the western hemisphere.

2. Last year approximately 75% of new students coming into Lifesong Honduras were malnurished, their weight and height way below average, and needed extra vitamins and supplements.

3. There are innumerous un-reached mountain villages that still do not have electricity or running water, children without clothing or shoes, and families without food to feed their children.

- Homes are barely constructed of mud, sticks, cardboard and whatever material they can use to cover themselves.

-Many villages have no organized church, nor a pastor, nor a church building in which to meet.

-Students at Plan Escalon spend part of their education giving back… visiting mountain villages, where many of them came from, to bring food (rice and beans) and minister to the people.

- Imagine what it would it be like to live in a mountain village in Honduras… What would it be like?  Would you feel hopeful of your future?   How would you survive?

4. At Lifesong Honduras they have to make 3,500 tortillas made every day… on only 3 stoves!

- Can you imagine making that many tortillas every day?  Think about how you would interact with others in the kitchen.  How easy would it be trying to accomplish this with only 3 stoves?

Be sure to have your camera ready for Tortilla Tuesday! Please send Lifesong a photo of you and your family, co-workers or whoever you invite participating in Tortilla Tuesday, your location, and a short story about the impact it made and the conversations you had to info@lifesongfororphans.org! If you have a blog or facebook, consider sharing it!

The goal is:

Will you help?  100 commitments in ten days is no small feat, but with God it is possible.  We have seen Him move mightily in His people to serve orphans and we pray that this will be a testimony of that!  Together we can make a difference in the lives of these kids!  Together we can do more to bring joy and purpose to orphans!  So far they have 4 commitments so they still need many more. 

Contact Lifesong at info@lifesongfororphans.org to make your commitment and be sure to tell them that you came from this blog!

Hear personal stories & follow the progress on the Lifesong blog all this week!

Check back often to hear personal stories and get updates on the progress.  Please join us in prayer as we ask the Lord to raise up 100 commitments!

Can You Help? Pretty Please?

I'm totally borrowing this from Mommy Diaries because I couldn't have said it better.

i don't know about you all, but my heart has been burdened lately. burdened by the injustice all over the world, the fact that we have it so easy while the rest of the world suffers from lack of basic things that we take for granted.

i love blog world. because i love the inspiration, the real-life examples of women who are doing God's work, the fresh Word that God speaks to me every single day through all of you in the comments and through the wonderful blogs that i read regularly. 

Kim happened to comment on my blog one day, so i headed over to hers. and this is what i read. [pretty please take the time to read it]. this woman is doing what God has asked her to do. and we all know that takes courage and strength and constant reliance on God's provision. the process of saying "yes, Lord" is a daily surrender. it's not just a one-time decision. it's a process that's all about relationship with Him. it's all about being available to allow Him to do huge things through us. 

because she refused to sit by and ignore it any longer, Kim is heading to Ethiopia in July. you'd think that was a great start. that was enough, right? well, no, in the meantime her heart has been stirred to intercede, to collect, to donate, to raise awareness and money on behalf of the least of these. to start with, she's doing all she can to get cloth diapers over there. a huge need, apparently. 

another thing she's doing is hosting a huge giveaway to raise money for a specific orphanage. i encourage all of you to go enter the fabulous giveaway! it only takes a $10 donation to get 5 entries!?! $25 is 15 entries. and you guys, these are fabulous items to be won! remember that you are giving to desperate children in the process, and you get to win awesome stuff because of it. what could be more enticing? go to this post to enter. 

i hope you take the time to donate, enter, and leave a sweet comment over there. [become a follower, too! you'll want to keep up with the incredible things that God is going to do through her.]

i'm off to donate and enter right now :) i hope you'll join me!

Tortilla Tuesday

Lifesong for Orphans has some EXCITING things happening!  A generous donor has committed to match dollar for dollar all donations that come in for their orphan care in Honduras, up to $120,000!!!!  To make the best use of the potential resources, they've decided to do a 10-day Honduras blitz starting on Monday.  Personal testimonies will be shared from changed lives, we'll get a glimpse into everyday Honduran life, and be given some tools to spread awareness in our families. 

One of these tools is a little something we like to call (da-da-DAAA!):

Tuesday, March 29th we will be dedicating 1 meal to eat what the children in Honduras eat on a daily basis... and we want you to be a part of it!  We will also provide some great topical questions and discussion guides for you to share with your kids on what life is like for children in another culture.

Would YOU join us?

We'll share more as we get closer to the 29th, so mark your calendars, get your camera ready and head to the store to get tortillas, rice, and beans for the whole family!  In the meantime, feel free to check out what's going on at Lifesong Honduras.

Ethiopia Update -- GREAT NEWS!

A great friend of mine and her husband are adopting from Ethiopia through All God's Children International (AGCI), and today she passed along some GREAT news!  Here's the announcement AGCI sent to all their families:

Over the past week AGCI has been working in collaboration with Joint Council, other licensed Adoption Service Providers in Ethiopia and the US Department of State to get clarity on the proposed changes instigated by the Ministry of Women’s Affairs that would have drastically reduced the number of adoptions processed by their office.

We have spent the entirety of this week and last connecting with our own Foreign Staff, participating in caucus calls led by Joint Council and the US Department of State, and independently collaborating with other Adoption Service Providers to get clear and accurate information concerning this matter. Your grace and patience has been so appreciated during this time! What we know as facts are:

§ MOWA posted a notice indicating as of March 10th they would be reducing the number of adoptions processed through their office to 5 cases a day.

§ Within days of this announcement, the director of MOWA and several other staff members from the ministry have been terminated.

Today we want to update you on the feedback we received yesterday from our foreign staff in Ethiopia, which was confirmed in a discussion with our adoption colleagues in a Joint Council caucus call later in the day.

At this time, all Foreign Staff on the ground in Ethiopia are reporting that MOWA has completed their staffing changes and are now currently working at full capacity to complete those adoption cases currently re-scheduled or assigned a court appointment through the courts of Addis Ababa. Our staff believe this to be around 800 cases they are working at full force to complete with no restrictions on the number of cases processed each day. This is great news! We are thrilled to hear these drastic changes do not seem to be going into full effect.

We are also pleased to report that for new cases moving forward; it appears the original changes proposed by MOWA will not be implemented to the degree of 5 cases a day. At this time it is unknown whether or not MOWA will issue a formal statement regarding how they will process cases in the future, but from all discussions it will not be a drastic decrease from before. Through the continued work, meetings, and advocacy of many Foreign Staff members in Ethiopia, it appears any future changes within the case processing for MOWA will avoid sweeping and disproportionate alterations to the number of cases processed each day. Rather, the hope is that MOWA, Joint Council, Adoption Service Providers, the US Department of State and other NGO organizations can come together to support the government of Ethiopia in strengthening the process for ethical adoptions to continue while also improving the general social structures to assist with family preservation in Ethiopia. This plan was acknowledged in the recent posting by the US State Department this morning at http://adoption.state.gov/news/ethiopia.html. We understand the US Department of State cannot issue a formal statement without MOWA issuing a retraction. Based on the information we are receiving, MOWA is concentrating on processing the current adoptions and the new staff is not focused on numbers, but doing their jobs.

AGCI and our trusted colleagues look forward to collaborating to ensure adoptions move forward with the highest level of transparency possible. It is our commitment to carefully, ethically, and mindfully complete the adoption process on every level for orphaned children. Our hope is that as we do this in collaboration with other licensed agencies, we can also help to eliminate future concerns by MOWA and continue to build trust between their office and the adoption community at large.

We want to encourage you all and to share that Ethiopia is still an active adoption program! We are so blessed to be looking back at all these wonderful moments and see God’s hand at work in the stories and lives of these children He loves. Thank you for your continued passion and dedication. We look forward to all the wonderful moments yet to come as we continue to serve in Ethiopia!

Help El Olam Orphanage in Ethiopia!

There's a fantastic fund raising giveaway going on this week to help renovate the orphanage in Ethiopia where Isaiah and Hannah Van Neste were before they came home.  Scott and Angela had told us about the terrible conditions there.  Please click on the button below to find out more about the orphanage and how you can help.  It only costs $10 or $20 to make an enormous difference in the lives of orphans!

Happy First Gotcha Day!!

One year ago today we met our children for the first time.  How can words begin to describe that life changing day?  There simply hasn't been one like it before or since.  It's a day we'd been greatly anticipating, one that brought us more joy than we could have ever imagined possible and that will be etched in our minds for the rest of our lives.

Sweet ones, we still marvel at the incredible kindness of the Lord in allowing us to be your parents!!  We love you so much and we LOVE life with you!

Gotcha Day 2010

Gotcha Day 2011

Emergency Campaign for Ethiopian Children

The Joint Council on International Children's Services put out an Emergency Campaign for Ethiopian children today -- we only have a few days to sign and hopefully it'll make a difference! They plan to present it to the Prime Minister in Ethiopia. Here's where you can go to sign it (please do!!):

http://www.gopetition.com/petition/43714.html

And here's what it says:

Last week the Ethiopian Ministry of Women's, Children's and Youth Affairs announced their intention to reduce intercountry adoptions by 90% beginning March 10, 2011. The Ministry's plan for a dramatic reduction is apparently based on two primary issues; 1) the assumption that corruption in intercountry adoption is systemic and rampant and 2) the Ministry's resources should be focused on the children for whom intercountry adoption is not an option. Without further announcements by the Government of Ethiopia, it is our understanding that the Ministry's plan will be initiated this week.

The Ministry's plan is a tragic, unnecessary and disproportionate reaction to concerns of isolated abuses in the adoption process and fails to reflect the overwhelmingly positive, ethical and legal services provided to children and families through intercountry adoption. Rather than eliminate the right of Ethiopian children to a permanent family, we encourage the Ministry to accept the partnerships offered by governments, NGOs, and foundations. Such partnerships could increase the Ministry's capacity to regulate service providers and further ensure ethical adoptions.

The Ministry's plan, which calls for the processing of only five adoption cases per work day, will result not only in systemic and lasting damage to a large sector of social services, but will have an immediate impact on the lives and futures of children. Moving from over 4,000 adoptions per year to less than 500 will result in thousands of children languishing in under-regulated and poorly resourced institutions for years. For those children who are currently institutionalized and legally available for adoption, the Ministry's plan will increase their time languishing in institutions for up to 7-years.

Joint Council respectfully urges the Ministry of Women's, Children's and Youth Affairs to reconsider their plan and to partner with governments, NGOs and foundations to achieve their goals and avoid the coming tragedy for children and families.

Books, Music and More

I love getting recommendations from friends about good books and music for our kids.  There's so much out there to help build our children up in the knowledge of the truth!  So I created a page with a list of some wonderful resources we've come across.  It's in the sidebar so you can more easily find it in the future, under About Us and it's called "Resources we love."  I'll include it below too.  Of course we don't own anywhere near all of these, but we own a few and the rest have either come recommended by friends, Ray Van Neste or the Girl Talk blog.  Ray Van Neste has a great blog on children's literature called Children's Hour that's well worth checking out.

Bibles
The Big Picture Story Bible by David Helm
The Jesus Storybook Bible by Sally Lloyd-Jones
My First Study Bible by Paul Loth
The Picture Bible by Iva Hoth
The Beginners Bible by Kelly Pully
Read Aloud Bible Stories (4 volumes) by Ella Lindvall
ESV Children's Family Bible
The ESV Illustrated Family Bible by Zbigniew Frues
Early Readers Bible by V. Gilbert Beers

Music
Seeds Family Worship
       Seeds of Faith
       Seeds of Praise
       Seeds of Purpose
       Seeds of Encouragement
       Seeds of Courage
Dana Dirksen
       Questions With Answers Vol. 1: God and Creation
       Questions With Answers Vol. 2: The Fall and Salvation
       Questions With Answers Vol. 3: Christ and His Work
       Songs for Saplings
Sovereign Grace Music
       To Be Like Jesus
       Walking with the Wise
       Awesome God
The Rizers
      Meet the Rizers

Training Resources and Family Worship
For Instruction in Righteousness by Doorposts
If-Then, Blessing, and Put On Charts by Doorposts (anything by Doorposts seems great!)
Foundation Verses by Children Desiring God
Small Children's Catechism by Chris Schlect
Truth and Grace books by Tom Ascol
Small Talks on Big Questions by Selah Helms and Susan Thompson
The Gospel for Children by John Leuzarder
The Big Book of Questions and Answers by Sinclair Ferguson
My 1st Book of Questions and Answers by Carine MacKenzie
My 1st Book of Memory Verses by Carine MacKenzie
My 1st Book of Bible Prayers by Carine MacKenzie
My 1st Book of Bible Promises by Carine MacKenzie
Your Child's Profession of Faith by Dennis Gundersen
God's Names by Sally Michael (Children Desiring God) 
Long Story Short by Marty Machowski
The Family Worship Book by Terry Johnson
Thoughts on Family Worship by J.W. Alexander
The Christian Father's Present to His Children by John Angell James
Family Worship in the Bible and Your Home by Donald Whitney
Rediscovering the Lost Treasure of Family Worship by Jerry Marcellino
Big Truths for Little Hearts by Bruce Ware

Books for Children
Learn about God series by Carine MacKenzie
God's Little Guidebooks by Hazel Scrimshire
Big Thoughts for Little Thinkers - The Mission by Joey Allen
Big Thoughts for Little Thinkers - The Scripture by Joey Allen
Big Thoughts for Little Thinkers - The Gospel by Joey Allen
Big Thoughts for Little Thinkers - The Trinity by Joey Allen
Tell Me Why the Stars Do Shine by Inspirational Baby
God Knows My Name by Debby Anderson
I Can Talk with God by Debby Anderson
I Love My Bible! by Debby Anderson
Do Bugs Have Noses by Debby Anderson
Jesus is With Me by Debby Anderson
Kindness Counts by Debby Anderson
Let's Explore God's World by Debby Anderson
Jesus is Coming Back by Debby Anderson
Are Tigers Ticklish by Debby Anderson
Most of All, Jesus Loves You by Noel Piper
Do You Want a Friend? by Noel Piper
What Happens When I Talk to God by Stormie Omartian
I Talk to God About How I Feel by Stormie Omartian
Who Made the Morning by Jan Godfrey
Fool Moon Rising by Kristi Fluharty
 
Books for Slightly Older Kids
Bible Time and Bible Wise series by Carine MacKenzie
Big Truths for Little Kids by Susan and Richie Hunt
Hear Me Read series by Mary Manz Simon
Little Pilgrim's Progress by Helen Taylor
The Evergreen Wood by Alan and Linda Parry
Dangerous Journey by Oliver Hunkin
The Priest with Dirty Clothes by R.C. Sproul
The King Without a Shadow by R.C. Sproul
The Lightlings by R.C. Sproul
The Prince's Poison Cup by R.C. Sproul
On the Edge of the Dark Sea of Darkness by Andrew Peterson
North! Or Be Eaten by Andrew Peterson
The Monster in the Hollows by Andrew Peterson
The Real Story of the Creation by Paul Maier
The Real Story of the Flood by Paul Maier
The Real Story of the Exodus by Paul Maier 
The First Christmas by Paul Maier
The First Easter by Paul Maier
The First Christians by Paul Maier
Martin Luther: A Man who Changed the World by Paul Maier
The Chronicles of Narnia series by C.S. Lewis 
Little Suzy by Elizabeth Prentiss
The Squire and the Scroll by Jennie Bishop
Practice Being Godly by Colin Buchanan
Building on the Rock series by Diana Kleyn

Christmas/Advent
Christ in Christmas:A Family Advent Celebration by NavPress
The Wonders of Christmas by Melody Carlson
The Advent Book by Jack and Kathy Stockman

Parenting Books
Babywise by Gary Ezzo and Robert Bucknam
Shepherding a Child's Heart by Tedd Tripp
Instructing a Child's Heart by Tedd Tripp
To Train up a Child by Michael and Debi Pearl

Adoption or Africa Related Books
Adopted for Life by Russell Moore
Successful Adoption: A Guide for Christian Families by Natalie Gillespie
Handbook on Thriving as an Adoptive Family: Real-Life Solutions to Common Challenges by David Sanford
Helping Your Adopted Child by Paul Tripp
Too Small to Ignore: Why the Least of These Matters Most by Wess Stafford
Wrestling with an Angel by Greg Lucas
With Two Hands: Stories of God at Work in Ethiopia by Rebecca Davis
Only One Race by Answers in Genesis
A Mother for Choco by Keiko Kaszza
Global Babies by The Global Fund for Children

Ethiopian Orphans

I'm in a bit of shock as I write this blog post.  Alternating between tearfulness and shock.  Because I just read this article, released today from Addis Ababa, Ethiopia.

When we met our adoption agency director in November 2009, she told us then that she saw the signs of adoption in Ethiopia eventually closing.  I didn't want to believe it.  Even though she spoke from experience, having seen other countries close in the past, I just couldn't see how that could happen in Ethiopia when there are so many orphans there who need families.  The situation is desperate.

But since we started the adoption process the signs have been becoming more clear.  Perhaps this decision to see fewer cases each day for the purpose of more thoroughly investigating each case is a good thing.  Of course we want to ensure that every child being adopted is a true orphan!  A friend of mine put it so well -- Policies and investigations are put in place for the safety and integrity of the adoption system.  However, in instances like this, many innocent and legitimate orphans as well as loving families are the ones who suffer as a result of these decisions. 

Our adoption agency director said that this announcement of a dramatic slowing down of adoptions in Ethiopia could be tremors before the earthquake, a forewarning of things that are to come.  And if it is, millions without families will remain orphans for their entire lives.  And there would have been families to welcome them.

I believe that God is sovereign over this.  That He selected a generation of children who were without parents to be brought into Christian homes in America because He had chosen them as His own children.  I stand in awe when I think about our son and daughter in the big picture of all this.  That their little lives fell in that window of time, and our application process happened in that window of time.  It's too great for my mind to wrap around. 

Please pray for seven couples that are good friends of ours who are all in process with Ethiopian adoptions right now -- the Hares, the Suttons, the Myers, the Uchereks, the Jenkins, the Joneses and the Windhams.  I listed them in order of how far along they are in the adoption process and I know they would all appreciate our fervent prayers.  James 5:16 says "The effective prayer of a righteous person has great power!"  They are in the middle of a battle for the well being of orphans, a cause that is close to the heart of our great God.  Let's fight alongside them!

I had come across this quote and video on a blog I follow a while ago and it seems fitting to post now:

When I see these faces, I see the face of my youngest son – and my heart breaks and the tears flow. Adoption isn’t the only answer to the orphan crisis, but it is one of them. I’ve been so encouraged by all the comments and emails we’ve received lately as a result of sharing our story on this blog. If you’re considering adoption and know it’s something God is telling you to do, please be obedient! You can never imagine the adventure He will take you on, and it will be WORTH every high and low of the journey . . .

Can't Get Enough of These Little People!

 

 

February's Family Picture

When we use the timer on our camera a red light shines for a few seconds before it takes a picture.  Our children are fun loving and full of smiles all day.  They're also fascinated by the red light on the camera and while they're looking at it, it sure is hard to get them to share their happy grins with the world!     

Here's to February!

It's been so fun to watch our kids grow and develop more and more lately.  Even though they've only been walking a few months, they're practically running around now.  One of the elderly ladies at church likes to say that our little man thinks he's just as big as the older kids there.  And it almost brought me to tears one week to help our sweet miss play Ring Around The Rosy with some of the older girls.  How can she possibly be old enough for that yet?

Little man loves to stand at our back screen door and watch cars drive by.  Trucks are even better.  And buses -- just forget it!  He'll tell you all about that bus long after it's gone.  Then he'll ask you to please bring another bus by.  He loves to play peek-a-boo with the curtain in their room, and he loves to be chased and tickled.  Balls are still a favorite for him, much to his daddy's delight.  And he seems to be really coordinated and strong.  Our little man is creative, funny and eager to please.  Dear little boy!  

 
Sweet miss is one of the most engaging little girls I've ever met.  She greets us and others with a friendly "hi" throughout the day.  And she'll endearingly repeat her greeting until you reply.  This girl loves people!  And she can cuddle.  For added sweetness, she'll pat your back while you hold her.  Though we'd definitely call her a people person, she does like to find a private corner where she can get away and read a good book once in a while.  And our delightful girl loves to sing and dance!

They're mimicking words left and right, and we can hardly believe how much they understand.  I talk to them all day long, and lately it's becoming much more like back-and-forth conversations.

They're starting to really play with each other.  Sometimes I'll catch them laughing as they chase each other around, tickling each other or feeding each other food.  Precious brother and sister, sweet little friends.  I am SO glad we adopted two babies.  Glad for our sake and glad for their sake.

Sweet ones, how we cherish every day the Lord gives us with you.  You bring us more joy than you could possibly know.  You have enriched our lives immeasurably.  We know love more fully because of the love God has put in our hearts for you.

Lord, thank you for these blessings.  We are completely undeserving of your goodness to us.  Thank you for saving the lives of these precious babies, these little ones we love so much.  Please give us wisdom to lead them in Your ways, please draw their hearts to love Jesus.  There is nothing that would give us greater joy than to see them walking in the truth.

Faith Forbids Fear

My friend Sarah and her husband Paul recently started the adoption process, and I just had to share some of Sarah's thoughts from her blog about the fears she wrestled with before taking the first step of faith.  It's a must read (with tissues on hand)!

My husband embraces challenges. And that's one of the reasons that I love him.  We often laugh as we share with others that before we got married, I knew that I would have to be content with possibly living in a hut in a primitive place for the rest of our lives.  He's the kind of person who sits up in bed in the middle of the night and excitedly asks, "Can we talk about how we can live off of less money?"  But it's not simply a challenge that motivates my husband to do hard things.  It's his conviction. His integrity.  So when I began to see his heart deeply convicted about international adoption, I knew that I should take him seriously. 

Thankful that we can provide different strengths to our marriage, I admit that a desire to embrace difficult tasks and to live uncomfortably is most certainly unnatural for me.  With regard to adoption, I loved the idea of it.  I needed no reminder that God's Word speaks clearly about the Christian's responsibility to care for the fatherless.  I saw the beautiful Gospel representation in bringing an orphan into a loving, stable, Christ-centered family just like God, through Christ, has adopted an undeserving sinner like me into His eternal family (Ephesians 1).  I enjoyed talking about adoption with Paul, and I loved seeing children adopted into wonderful families at our church.  But deep down, I knew that something was missing.  Deep down, something about personalizing adoption made me feel very uncomfortable, and it bothered me. Strangely, I couldn't grasp what was preventing me from being excited about the prospect of us adopting internationally.  So I became more intentional: prayers about adoption became more frequent and more specific; I began to single out some people at our church who had adopted or who were in the process of adopting; I read excellent books about adoption; and I read blog after blog after blog after blog and waited for a breaking point.

...And remained frustrated.  Why was I not more compelled?  When would I be so emotionally moved by "a burden placed on my heart" that my tears would prevent me from talking to my husband across the dinner table like the girls about whom I read on these blogs?  What was wrong with me?

And as my husband graciously and patiently allowed me to wrestle through this with him, we began to see the heart of my struggle, namely, fear.  I realized that it wasn't that I didn't want to adopt; rather, I didn't want to adopt unless I could somehow be guaranteed that our adopted child would never suffer and that Paul and I would parent perfectly.  And as Paul and I hashed out my thoughts, it seemed that God was systematically revealing a paralyzing web of fear that penetrated deeply and broadly. Fear about ways that being adopted can psychologically impact a child for the rest of his/her life.  Fear that I might not love an adopted child as much as I would a biological child.  Fear that our child and our family might experience the evil that racism is.  Fear about the ways that growing up in a racially-segregated city like Memphis has impacted me (though I love and miss Memphis!).  Fear about the ways we might be perceived by outsiders. 

I certainly believe that any adopting parent should think through issues like these prior to adopting.  But I do not believe that fears alone should prevent me from moving forward, because as I pray through these fears and read my Bible, I see that as His child bought by Christ's blood, God hates my fear.  Why?  Because it's not from Him.  Fears prevent me from living courageously by His Spirit and from seeing God's glory worked in our family as we seek to live out that which we profess to believe.  He calls me to expect hardships and to live by faith in His sufficiency.  He calls me to imitate those who have come before me and have chosen to live for the reason they were created at the expense of wordly ease: the Abrahams, the Sarahs, the Moses', the Rahabs, and other biblical heroes of the faith who desired a "better country, a heavenly one," (Hebrews 11:16).  Fears hinder ministry (wives, need I mention our wonderful 1 Peter 3:1-6 passage to support this statement?), and true, Christ-honoring, fruitful, Christian faith forbids fear.  

Praising Him who graciously helps me fix my eyes on Jesus, the Author and Perfector of my faith when they're so prone to wander, I increasingly anticipate what's ahead.