A GREAT Adoption Discussion

I just finished listening to this session by Dr. Russell Moore and Pastor Voddie Baucham and I hope that if you read my blog you'll listen to it.  I can't begin to tell you how helpful I think it is in the way we understand adoption.  It's important, fantastic stuff. 

And if you have adopted or are in the process or are considering it, you and your children will be so helped by it, I guarantee!

Adoption and Parenting at the Gospel Coalition

Several weeks ago evangelicals from all over the country gathered in Chicago for the Gospel Coalition meeting. Dr. Russell Moore and Pastor Voddie Baucham talked about how the gospel informs orphan care. You can listen to it here: Orphans and Adoption

Also at the meeting, Dr. Moore joined Union University deans Greg and Kimberly Thornbury and David Helm (author of The Big Picture Story Bible) to talk about parenting and discipleship. They talked about devotion practices, family worship, curricula, and so on. You can listen here: How to Teach Children and Youth the Gospel Story

All the plenary and breakout sessions can be accessed here: plenary sessions and other workshops

(via Moore to the Point)

I'm excited to listen to them!

Adoption: The Heart of the Gospel

I've been praying for several friends in the adoption process lately, and my heart is heavy with them as they wait for word on any progress in their cases.  Adoption can be such an emotional roller coaster!  Talking with one friend in particular brought this great article by John Piper to mind.  I've been encouraged by it lately and hope you will be too!  

Galatians 4:4-8 But when the fullness of time had come, God sent forth his Son, born of woman, born under the law, to redeem those who were under the law, so that we might receive adoption as sons. And because you are sons, God has sent the Spirit of his Son into our hearts, crying, “Abba! Father!” So you are no longer a slave, but a son, and if a son, then an heir through God. Formerly, when you did not know God, you were enslaved to those that by nature are not gods.

Romans 8:14-17 For all who are led by the Spirit of God are sons of God. For you did not receive the spirit of slavery to fall back into fear, but you have received the Spirit of adoption as sons, by whom we cry, “Abba! Father!” The Spirit himself bears witness with our spirit that we are children of God, and if children, then heirs—heirs of God and fellow heirs with Christ, provided we suffer with him in order that we may also be glorified with him.

The biblical foundation for the act of adopting children is primarily in the New Testament rather than the Old. There are only three adoptions in the Old Testament (Moses, Esther, and Genubath, 1 Kings 11:20). Israel is called God’s son (Exodus 4:22; Deuteronomy 14:1; 32:6; Jeremiah 31:9; Hosea 11:1) but not until the New Testament is this called adoption.

The Foundation of Adoption

The deepest and strongest foundation of adoption is located not in the act of humans adopting humans, but in God adopting humans. And this act is not part of his ordinary providence in the world; it is at the heart of the gospel. Galatians 4:4-5 is as central a gospel statement as there is: “But when the fullness of time had come, God sent forth his Son, born of woman, born under the law, to redeem those who were under the law, so that we might receive adoption as sons.” God did not have to use the concept of adoption to explain how he saved us, or even how we become part of his family. He could have stayed with the language of new birth so that all his children were described as children by nature only (John 1:12-13, “But to all who did receive him, who believed in his name, he gave the right to become children of God, who were born, not of blood nor of the will of the flesh nor of the will of man, but of God.”). But he chose to speak of us as adopted as well as being children by new birth. This is the most essential foundation of the practice of adoption.

Eight Similarities

What I would like to do is lay out eight similarities between what God did in adoption and what happens in a Christian adoption today. I pray that whether you have adopted, or are engaged in assisting adoptions, or are pondering an adoption, God will use these comparisons to heighten your confidence that God is graciously involved in our adoptions. He has done it himself. He knows what it costs. And he stands ready to support us all the way to the end.

1. Adoption was (for God) and is (for us) costly.

When the fullness of time had come, God sent forth his Son, born of woman, born under the law, to redeem those who were under the law, so that we might receive adoption as sons. (Galatians 4:4-5)

To redeem means to obtain or to set free by paying a price. What was the price that God paid for our liberation and adoption? In the previous chapter, we heard the answer: “Christ redeemed us from the curse of the law by becoming a curse for us—for it is written, ‘Cursed is everyone who is hanged on a tree’” (Galatians 3:13). It cost God the price of his Son’s life.

There are huge costs in adopting children. Some are financial; some are emotional. There are costs in time and stress for the rest of your life. You never stop being a parent till you die. And the stresses of caring about adult children can be as great, or greater, than the stresses of caring for young children. There is something very deep and right about the embrace of this cost for the life of a child!

Few things bring me more satisfaction than seeing a culture of adoption flourish at Bethlehem. It means that our people are looking to their heavenly Father for their joy rather than rejecting the stress and cost of children in order to maximize their freedom and comforts. When people embrace the pain and joy of children rather than using abortion or birth control simply to keep children away, the worth of Christ shines more visibly. Adoption is as far as possible from the mindset that rejects children as an intrusion. Praise God for people ready to embrace the suffering—known and unknown. God’s cost to adopt us was infinitely greater than any cost we will endure in adopting and raising children.

2. Adoption did (for God) and does (for us) involve the legal status of the child.

When the fullness of time had come, God sent forth his Son, born of woman, born under the law, to redeem those who were under the law, so that we might receive adoption as sons. And because you are sons, God has sent the Spirit of his Son into our hearts, crying, “Abba! Father!” (Galatians 4:4-6)

There were legal realities God had to deal with. His own justice and law demanded that we be punished and excluded from his presence for our sins. Righteousness was required and punishment demanded. God had to satisfy his justice and his law in order to adopt sinners into his family. This he did by the life, death, and resurrection of his Son Jesus Christ.

This means that the status of being a son legally preceded the experience of the Spirit coming to give us the affections of sons. We are legally sons before we experience the joy of sonship. The object work of our salvation (two thousand years ago at Calvary) precedes and grounds the subjective experience of our salvation by the Spirit today.

So it is with our adopting children today: The legal transactions precede and under gird the growth of family feelings. If the legal red tape seems long and hard, keep in mind that this tape is not yet red with your blood, but Jesus satisfied all the legal demands precisely by shedding his blood.

3. Adoption was blessed and is blessed with God’s pouring out a Spirit of sonship.

Because you are sons, God has sent the Spirit of his Son into our hearts, crying, “Abba! Father!” (Galatians 4:6)
You did not receive the spirit of slavery to fall back into fear, but you have received the Spirit of adoption as sons, by whom we cry, “Abba! Father!” The Spirit himself bears witness with our spirit that we are children of God. (Romans 8:15-16)

God does not leave us in the condition of aliens when he adopts us. He does not leave us with no feelings of acceptance and love. Rather, he pours his Spirit into our hearts to give us the experience of being embraced in the family. What is remarkable about these two texts is the term abba. It is an Aramaic word. Why then does Paul use it, transliterated, in these two letters written in Greek?

The answer is that it was the way Jesus spoke to his Father, in spite of the fact that virtually no one in Jewish culture referred to God with this endearing word abba. It stunned the disciples. They held onto it as a precious remnant of the very voice of Jesus in the language he spoke. In Mark 14:36, Jesus is in Gethsemane and prays, “Abba, Father, all things are possible for you. Remove this cup from me. Yet not what I will, but what you will.” Therefore, in adopting us, God give us the very Spirit of his Son and grants us to feel the affections of belonging to the very family of God.

In the mercy of God, in our families God works to awaken affections in adopted children for their parents that are far more than legal outcomes. They are deeply personal and spiritual bonds. Adopted children do not infer that they are our children by checking out the adoption papers. A spirit pervades our relationship that bears witness to this reality. Like the other children in the family, they all cry, “Daddy.”

Praise God that he give us both legal standing as his children and the very Spirit of his Son so that we find ourselves saying from a heart of deep conviction, “Abba, Father.”

4. Adoption was (for God) and is (for us) marked by moral transformation through the Spirit.

All who are led by the Spirit of God are sons of God.” (Romans 8:14)

God does not leave his children without help to bear the moral image of the family. We may trust that his help will be there for our children as we bring them under the means of grace that God uses to awaken and transform his children.

5. Adoption brought us, and brings our children, the rights of being heirs of the Father.

Because you are sons, God has sent the Spirit of his Son into our hearts, crying, “Abba! Father!” So you are no longer a slave, but a son, and if a son, then an heir through God. (Galatians 4:6-7)
The Spirit himself bears witness with our spirit that we are children of God, and if children, then heirs—heirs of God and fellow heirs with Christ, provided we suffer with him in order that we may also be glorified with him. (Romans 8:16-17)

Notice that Galatians 4:7 says we are heirs “through God” and Romans 8:17 says we are heirs “of God.” In Galatians, the context is the promise of Abraham—through God, that is, by his sending his Son to redeem us, we are heirs with Abraham (even though many of us are Gentiles!) of his inheritance, namely the world (Romans 4:13). But in Romans 8:17, the context is that we, with Christ, are heirs of all that God has, namely, everything. “All things are yours, whether Paul or Apollos or Cephas or the world or life or death or the present or the future—all are yours, and you are Christ’s, and Christ is God’s” (1 Corinthians 3:21).

Just before we left for England on sabbatical, Noël and I went to a lawyer and updated our wills. All the boys are married, and Talitha is the only legal “dependent.” A lot had changed since the last time we made wills. This was a reminder to us that she will inherit like the sons. She is not in a lesser adoptive class. All inherit together. That is the way God did it. That is the way we do it.

6. Adoption was (for God) and is (for us) seriously planned.

He chose us in him before the foundation of the world, that we should be holy and blameless before him. In love he predestined us for adoption as sons through Jesus Christ, according to the purpose of his will, to the praise of his glorious grace, with which he has blessed us in the Beloved. (Ephesians 1:4-6)

Adoption in God’s mind was not Plan B. He predestined us for adoption before the creation of the world. Plan A was not lots of children who never sin and never need to be redeemed. Plan A was creation, fall, redemption, adoption so that the full range of God’s glory and mercy and grace could be known by his adopted children. Adoption was not second best. It was planned from the beginning.

In our lives, there is something uniquely precious about having children by birth. That is a good plan. There is also something different, but also uniquely precious, about adopting children. Each has its own uniqueness. Your choice to adopt children may be sequentially second. But does not have to be secondary. It can be as precious and significant as having children by birth. God is able to make adoption and A+ plan in our lives.

7. Adoption was (for God) and often is now (for us) from very bad situations.

We . . . were by nature children of wrath, like the rest of mankind. (Ephesians 2:3)

God did not find us like an abandoned foundling bundled on the front step and irresistibly cute. He found us ugly and evil and rebellious. We were not attractive. We would not be easy children to deal with. And, what’s worse, God himself was angry with us. He hates sin and rebellion. We were then doubly “children of wrath.”

These are the ones God pursued in adoption. Therefore, all of God’s adoptions crossed a greater moral and cultural divide than any of our adoptions could. The distance between what we are, and what God is, is infinitely greater than any distance between us and a child we might adopt. God crossed the greatest cultural barrier to redeem and adopt us.

Consider too, that according to Romans 9:4, the people that God chose in the Old Testament, the Israelites, were adopted out of a terrible situation. “They are Israelites, and to them belong the adoption, the glory, the covenants, the giving of the law, the worship, and the promises.” But how was this adoption effected? Hosea 11:1, “When Israel was a child, I loved him, and out of Egypt I called my son.” They were slaves in Egypt. But not only that, they were often also rebellious against God. “Our fathers, when they were in Egypt, did not consider your wondrous works; they did not remember the abundance of your steadfast love, but rebelled by the sea, at the Red Sea” (Psalm 106:7).

Therefore, God went and took a son from Egypt who was both enslaved and rebellious. The pattern is set: adoptions do not just come from nice, healthy, safe, auspicious situations.

8. Adoption meant (for all Christans) and means (for Christian parents) that we suffer now and experience glory later.

The whole creation has been groaning together in the pains of childbirth until now. And not only the creation, but we ourselves, who have the firstfruits of the Spirit, groan inwardly as we wait eagerly for adoption as sons, the redemption of our bodies. (Romans 8:22-23)

This strikes us as strange. Aren’t we already adopted? Why does Paul say that we are “waiting for our adoption”? Yes, we are already adopted. When Christ died for us, the price was paid, and when we trust him, we are legally and permanently in the family. But God’s purpose for adoption is not to leave any of his children in a state of groaning and suffering. He raised Jesus from the dead with a new body, and he promises that part of our adoption will be a new resurrection body with no more disabilities and no more groaning. Therefore, what we wait for is the full experience of our adoption—the resurrection of our bodies.

There is much groaning in the path of adoption on the way to full salvation. But the outcome is glorious. It is worth it all. “I consider that the sufferings of this present time are not worth comparing with the glory that is to be revealed to us” (Romans 8:18).

This is especially relevant for parents of children with disabilities. They know the “groaning” of this life. All of us have children with some sort of disability, and some of us will live to get very old and watch our children age and die before we do. Others will see their children struck down in war or by accident or disease. Others will care for a disabled child till one of them dies. All of this groaning is groaning in hope because we are adopted by God and destined for a resurrection and an eternal future of health and wholeness and joy. It will be worth it all.

With Daddy in the Yard

Morning Funnies

When the kids got up this morning, I said to my son, "I love you."  He replied, "fire truck."  I told my daughter "I love you," and she hugged me close, patting my back as we snuggled.

Don't Underestimate 'Em

These precious two are 1 1/2, and I've been amazed at how much they're doing lately.  For example, today at breakfast little man noticed that we were scooping out the last spoonful of oatmeal.  He said "oh no!  all gone.  oatmeal, mmmm."  The other day he pointed to a flower on my shirt and said "flower.  pretty."  If hubby has to leave for work before they get up in the morning, when I go into little man's room he'll usually say "da da.  work.  car" (because he takes a car to get to work, of course).  Then he'll let me know that his sister is in "night night" too, and he's ready to get her.  This guy is putting things together!  He's a running commentary all day long.   

Here they are brushing their teeth...

Going DOWN the stairs...

Cleaning up their blocks...

And putting their books back on the shelf...

Next on the list... feeding themselves with a spoon.  Or maybe I should call that one the eventual next one on the list.  I'm not a big fan of the mess I know it'll be...   

I Get to Be Their Mom

Wise Words about Adoption

Dr. Russell Moore recently had a great interview with Dennis Rainey and Bob Lapine of FamilyLife about adoption.  Some of the quotes were really helpful things for us as adoptive parents to think about.  A few of my faves:

Dr. Moore: I had to be weaned from the idea that there are biological children and then there are adopted children and that having an adopted child was somehow “plan B” and second best.

Bob: But wait, there are biological children and there are adopted children, aren’t there?

Dr. Moore: But that doesn’t define the identity of those children any more than the fact that we have been adopted into the family of God. God doesn’t speak of us as you are the adopted children. He speaks of us as “you are my children, you are my sons and daughters.” The adoption tells us how we got here.  So sometimes people will ask us which ones are the adopted ones. That’s not the way we view them. One of our kids, Jonah, who we had biologically, was three weeks early, premature. But he isn’t our premature son. He was born prematurely and we are happy to say that to people but that doesn’t define his identity for the rest of his life.

...

Dennis: One of the things that surprised me was the number of parents who would really count the cost of adopting and would be unwilling to take a step toward adoption because they couldn’t know what the health issues were in advance. In your case, it was not just the hepatitis issue. You actually were given a grocery list of diseases and yet you and Maria stepped toward it.

Dr. Moore: Maria and I had agreed whoever God shows us, whoever God gives us, that is going to be our children and we are going to receive them whatever is involved there. There were all kinds of issues, fetal alcohol and everything else. We said these are our children and we are going to receive these children. One of the things I tell people is you are not going to have a child who is risk free. Whether you birth the child or adopt the child there is no such thing. None of us is risk free. If you are able to say I’m not going to adopt a child who might get sick or who might have something wrong, then you shouldn’t be married or parents anyway because your child can always get cancer or anything.

I think that is why the Lord put us through a time of infertility first so that we were able to receive children as a gift and not to receive children as a commodity that we have. As He says with Israel and with Jesus in the temptations, the Lord made us hunger so that we could know what it would mean to be fed. So we recognize these children are a gift and we are going to receive them as a gift. There are going to be struggles that are going happen with children who have difficulties but we are special needs children in the kingdom of God.

...

Dr. Moore: The number one challenge we faced very early on was making sure that as soon as the children came into our household they were really our children, which meant discipline as well as affection. So we were hugging the children and telling the children "We love you." We also were disciplining the children. And so we would establish parameters and rules in the household. My dad didn’t want that to happen. My dad was saying, "Oh they have been through so much. They were in an orphanage. Just let them do what they want to. If they want to take the coasters and bang the table in the living room, just let them do it." I had to say, "No, Dad. They are our kids now and we want to show them that they are a part of this family and that means that we have rules at our household and we have an order. They are a welcome part of our household, but they are not the new owners of the household."

Dennis: So you are saying you treat them the same as your biological children.

Dr. Moore: Exactly the same. Exactly the same.

...

Bob: I have a friend who, he and his wife adopted a couple of children who were 8 or 9 years old when they were adopted from Russia, and as they went through their teen years and as they went into their college years they started making choices that were very painful to mom and dad. They were moving away from the foundation that mom and dad had tried to pour into their lives. Have you imagined that that could be the case with your boys?

Dr. Moore: That could be the case with any of my boys, whether they were adopted or biologically birthed. I know there are many parents who know the pain of a prodigal. What I would encourage any parent to do is not to then turn around and to label, "Well, that’s our adopted child," to kind of distance...

Sometimes you have parents who are embarrassed by the prodigality of their children, and so they want to try to find "Well these are the reasons why I’m not to blame for that," rather than imaging the Father who loves, who prays and who says "I’m your dad no matter what, and I’m going to be here at the end of the day when you get out of that hog pen and come home."

Some of the other quotes were excellent, really really excellent, but too lengthy to put here.  You can check out the transcript or audio of the three part series here.  Well worth your time!

Back the Blocks

Lorraine over at All Are Precious in His Sight is highlighting the Block family on her blog all week to help them raise the support they need to serve as missionaries in Guatemala. God sold their home after a "For Sale by Owner" sign had been in their yard for a week, and He has provided a free place for them to live until they raise enough support to go. They have sold their possessions and are diligently preparing to leave - learning a new language and fundraising, all while raising 9 kiddos and homeschooling! They're ready to move to Guatemala to serve orphaned and vulnerable children at Eagle's Nest in Solana, Guatemala, but they're waiting on the Lord to provide the necessary funds to do so.

They will be bringing the word of God to the children residing at Eagle's Nest and helping provide holistic orphan care. They will be touching the lives of the children who are served each day in the Manna Feeding program and to those who are involved in the Sports Ministry. Because Guatemala closed its door to U.S adoptions these children have little hope of finding a forever family. The Blocks would like to invite you to join their team and become involved in the work God is doing in Guatemala. Would you prayerfully consider partnering with them? They are in need of 147 sponsors who are able to give $25 in monthly support. To be on the Block's team go to www.cten.org/toddblock/

The Blocks need 147 families to join their team by pledging a monthly donation of $25 in order for them to go to Guatemala as missionaries for His glory.  Your tax-deductible pledge will be a grand investment in the lives of a few hundred orphans on a daily basis in Solana, Guatemala.  If you join the team to Back the Blocks, please leave a comment at All Are Precious in His Sight.  They'll be updating a ticker each time a family joins the team.  Pray for God to build this team, for His glory, to serve His children in Guatemala!  Let's Back the Blocks and get them on the airplane to serve for His glory in Guatemala.