September 25, 2010

Loving Children "Not Our Own"

A great post from friends Dave and Stacy Hare:
To those of you who have adopted, you have probably had to read state-required materials which talk all about attachment, bonding, and the like. The main goal behind such literature (in my mind) is to give adoptive parents tools to create a relationship that is unnatural (ie two strangers coming together through the process of adoption) into something that is natural (the bond between parent and child). Because of these readings, and before adopting Kaden and Makyra, I wondered to myself, "Will I be able to love a 'random' child from across the world in the same way I could love a biological child?"

As a Christian, I would say, "Definitely." And it isn't because of the tips that were suggested in these adoption materials (although these materials have their place) but it is because I know Love himself.

"God is love, and whoever abides in love abides in God, and God abides in him." 1 John 4:16b

If God is the very source of all true love and God abides in me, then I have the ability to not only genuinely love my adopted children, but I even have the supernatural ability to love my enemies. I can truly love my children, because I have been truly loved by God.

"We love because he first loved us." 1 John 4:19

And these words have been proved true in my life. I am surprised by how much love I have for Kaden and Makyra and I wouldn't change a thing about them. I love the fact that the Lord has picked out children for us from across the globe, put them in our home to care for, and given us a heart that is eager to "bear all things, hope all things, endure all things." We can't imagine loving them any more than we already do!

So, to any out there who may be (secretly) wondering if you should adopt because you just don't know if you could love a child as much as your biological child or whatever, I assure you - if you know the Lord then you can! Love for anyone, whether that be a spouse, an enemy, a biological child, an adopted child, or whomever is possible for those who have been loved by God. Love for an adopted child may not be natural, but the Lord loves to give grace to do things that are supernatural.

May the world look at the Church's love for adopted children and know that there is a supernatural love at work!

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