Everyone has a different reaction to our decision to grow our family through adoption. Some people are excited and supportive. Some think we are doing a “kind deed” by helping the poor child. Others are skeptical and wonder if we will love the child the same as our birthed children. Some people feel the need to share some examples of other adopted children who rebelled when they grew up and treated their adoptive parents poorly. Others are in dismay as to why we would adopt a child when I can physically birth children, and they are perplexed as to why we would want a child of another race. Others are against adoption, especially international adoption. Our reason for adoption is simple: love. We wholeheartedly believe that every child is uniquely created and is deserving of love. We believe that every child, regardless of skin color and special needs, was created to grow up in the context of a loving family. All children were wonderfully and lovingly made.
Our daughter is no different. She was lovingly and wonderfully made. She was created to grow and flourish in a family, but sometimes life is not how it should be. While in a perfect world, every child could grow up with their birth parents, often times that is not possible for many reasons. People might reason then that we are adopting because we pity her situation and feel compelled to save her. This couldn’t be farther from the truth. We aren’t trying to be a savior. We by no means are perfect parents, but we do love her, and we believe love is deeper than blood lines or skin color. We love her like we love the children we birthed. In our eyes, she is no different than our two older sons. We believe that she is a perfect fit for our family. She, like our other children, is a special gift.
Pregnancy and adoption have many similarities. Both families must endure a time of waiting. Both families eagerly anticipate the day they first meet their child. Both families look into the eyes of their child and know that this child is a special gift and is a perfect part of their family. Why? Because of love: a parent’s love endures, eagerly hopes, and relishes in the beauty and wonder of their child. Regardless of how a family is formed, through adoption or through physical birth, love is what defines a family.